The Blessing of Suffering
Understanding our grief, our struggles, and our pain
By Baba Prayag
Setting our intentions is an important part of showing up authentically for yourself and for those around you. Before getting into the challenging stuff, please join me in the following mantra or prayer — you’re welcome to say it out loud, quietly to yourself, softly within your heart, or if the weight of these words are just too much for you to bear, know that I will say them for you.
Also, you are welcome to close the mantra or prayer in the way that suits you best, whether it is “namaste” or “amen” or something else of that nature.
May my mind be curious,
my heart be open, and
the sharing of experiences
be the pathway to deeper connection.
Namaste.
As we dive into the things we hope learn today, I offer this disclaimer… please be open to the idea that all of my words are coming from a place of compassion and loving-kindness, and are in no way meant to diminish or dismiss your experience.
Part of understanding our grief, struggles and pain includes understanding why these things show up in our lives to begin with. It isn’t a way to punish us for something we have done in this life or a past one. You’ve done nothing “wrong.”
The reason we suffer is so that we might know what joy is. Joy and suffering are part of the same coin and are a necessary part of the experience of life. This duality of joy and suffering is just as essential of a function as are birth and death, pain and pleasure, peace and conflict. We need both if we are to live an life that is truly fulfilling.
However, this isn’t a cruel method designed teach us a “lesson.” To see it as such is to add suffering where there is none. Instead, it is part of a play in which we, as individuals, are the main character and these events are part of a story that is meant to be shared with others, our audience, so that we all might have a better understanding of what it means to be human.
And when I say “what it means to be human,” what I really mean is that we must learn or understand what it means to be divine.
With all that being said, let us now take the time to listen to our hearts and reflect on any of our own experiences of grief, struggle and pain — if you can, choose to sit with something that you are going through or feeling in your life right now.
After reflecting on this suffering, take a moment to ask yourself “what have I learned in this experience?” How would you tell this to the audience of your choosing? If you have the opportunity to meet with an audience — a loved one, a friend, a counselor — tell them this story, share what you’ve learned, and then ask them what they learned about themselves through your sharing.
Within this space of vulnerability, of courage, of strength, of gratitude, and hopefully of loving-kindness, a deep connection can be felt. It offers a reminder that we are not alone in our suffering, and provides a point of transition through which our grief, pain, or struggle can move towards a place of joy.
To suffer is to be human and to accept the suffering as part of the story, is to accept the divine nature of your inner being, and the reciprocal joy that is yet to be revealed. After all, we know the best stories ends with “…and they lived happily ever after.”
As the curtain closes, I will offer another mantra or prayer. Again, you can say it aloud if you’d like and close it in whatever way suits you best.
As the mother suffers the labor of birth
and the forest the agony of fire
may I too be blessed with suffering
so that I might know joy.
Namaste.
